my husband is driving my daughter away my husband is driving my daughter away

If you dont find the info you need in this column, please visit the Dear Wendy archives or the forums (you can even start your own thread), do a search in the search bar, or submit a question for advice at wendy(AT)dearwendy.com. Navigating a situation like this can be difficult, but its important to do what you can to resolve the conflict. Hed come out and hit the ball or play catch or Horse. bittergaymark If youre struggling to get along with your teen or adult daughter, dont hesitate to seek professional help. Otherwise theyll never be able accept the ribbing and teasing that happens in life. The fact that you cant appreciate the beauty of T-Swifts prose is mildly concerning. Your email address will not be published. If you are involved with a crazy-making partner, dont think youre alone. He should show her that he can make an effort to enjoy her interests and encourage her in the same spirit to enjoy his. You wouldnt even ask that of an adult; why do you expect a kid to be okay with it? Because my dad took the time to foster this in me, it has not only made my relationship with him stronger, but with others as well. That time was never truly enjoyable, no matter how much I enjoyed myself because I just wasnt compatible with his personality. But it can get super boring waiting for that to happen. Most of which are tucked away out of sight. Which sort of circles back to point that even if this dad doesnt connect with his daughters interests, he really should make an effort. In short, that means they have a common reality they both share, so that each believes the other will see things in approximately the same way. Educational trivia game, reading articles and discussing them together or in a game format. I camped. And some of that happens by making fun of your child. Shes interested in piano, archery, musicals and science fiction. Give up some of your precious one-on-one time with your daughter so that your husband can take her hiking or camping or to a science museum. You know at the beginning of the last indiana jones movie where indie comes running home and needs to ask his dad something but his dad makes him count to 10 in latin? If dad were interested in making an effort, he could find some common ground there and use that to tie into what he is interested in. Hes a good person, but our relationship as two adults is not a close one and at times feels forced on my end because I still dont know how to be myself around him. I mean, you cant FORCE a kid to like camping. If he constantly puts her down she will not like him and she will not respect him because she knows that he has no respect for her. Find your shared interests and go from there? Do I look back on those times with my dad now and appreciate the time we spend together? This is a throw away account. (My parents zydeco phase was an odd one.) July 2, 2013, 12:12 pm. Definitely. I cried myself to sleep. Um, no. More my daughter is a student and is not working right now, so i don't have her paying. When crazy-making partners are not driven by malevolent motives, they are very open to changing their behavior if it is pointed out in a non-judgmental environment. By myself, though. Honestly, it doesnt dominate my life My improv group had NO idea I was into Star Wars until it came up in a scene and my knowledge of it was rather startling to ALL involved. I agree Dad needs to work on himself and his approach, but Mom definitely does too. My grandparents have a VHS of her wishing my cousin and I happy birthday. It took me a VERY long time to develop my own interests and become my own person I think youre right to encourage your daughter to be who she is and like what she likes. On the other hand it takes work for my mom and I to have things to bond over most of our conversations revolve around cooking (her passion that my sister did not pick up) and our dogs (unfortunately our dogs dont get along but we still trade dog stories all day). What kind of history and science is your husband into? lets_be_honest :: If you have a problem you need help with, email Fiona by writing to help@askfiona.net for advice. Scifi and fantasy have an adult audience for a reason (and a lot of the scientists on your husbands shows were inspired to study it because of Star Trek and the like). It must suck to have go some where with the two of them, and because your wife wants to be best friends with your daughter, you probably cant even talk with her while they are together. And while there are many reasons why daughters might want their parents to split up, here are some of the most common ones: If your daughter has seen you and your husband arguing or otherwise being unhappy together, she may start to feel like she needs to choose sides. Either the Dads behavior is bad enough that she needs to draw a line and tell him to stop with the eye-rolling and turning off the TV for no good reason; or it isnt and she needs to prioritize her marriage and get back to being team parent. This makes me so deeply jealous. I agree with you to some extent. Thats still not OK. Absolutely Dad! Then stress that it's not too late to re-engage with his with family, the solution lies with him. How easy it must be to cultivate a close relationship and enjoy time together when you both like the same stuff! Dont let anyone else control your decisions. And the activities that your husband wants your daughter to do arent horrible, they are actually really good for her. How dare she share her own interests. HA! Usually, yes your car insurance coverage should extend to anyone else driving your car. I just have to say, I have NEVER felt comfortable choosing what to watch on tv if Im in the same room as my dad because I know he thinks 95% of what Id want to watch is annoying. Dad was self-centered and pretty vain. You are the only one who knows whats best for you and your family. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,600],'therelationshipnotes_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_10',130,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-therelationshipnotes_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0');You feel yourself in big trouble when suddenly your husband and daughter are caught in the middle of a nasty argument. Not knowing who the Beatles were, I thought it was something ABOUT beetles, and asked them Is it interesting? . For older adults, taking away their driving privileges can be traumatic and can even cause depression. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'therelationshipnotes_com-mobile-leaderboard-2','ezslot_18',131,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-therelationshipnotes_com-mobile-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'therelationshipnotes_com-mobile-leaderboard-2','ezslot_19',131,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-therelationshipnotes_com-mobile-leaderboard-2-0_1');.mobile-leaderboard-2-multi-131{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:15px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:15px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:600px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}However, when conflict arises between a parent and child, it can be even more difficult to resolve. You have to do whats best for yourself and your family. How many parents have to watch a certain movie a million times or have to listen to a certain band on repeat. In all honestly though, I call up my dad now to hear about all of the new great bands out there! Skyblossom meadowphoenix Ya know what happens when Mom encourages the relationship and Dad continues to belittle the kid? NIIIIIIIIIIIIIICE RESPONSE, WENDY! I was in bed, asleep. You dont have to worship the same pop culture icons to have solid relationships. He came home and threw his briefcase on the ground. Are any of these familiar to you? The mother is at a loss as to why her husband is driving her daughter away, but she has a few theories. Obviously, this is as much your husbands job as it is yours, but right now it seems hes threatened by the bond you share with your daughter and is acting childish. Encourage her to have fun with him. I did so out of obligation and obedience, but now that Im older, I certainly appreciate what I learned, and wish I had paid more attention than I did. Her mission is to share practical and realistic parenting advice to help the parenting community becoming stronger. I do believe he is some what of a jerk with the fact that he really doesnt put any effort in to anything she likes though. Hold on there, NKOTB are STILL awesome! I hope the LW looks to the comments because she is not wrong to feel hurt and confused and could have used guidance which I dont think you supplied. If it doesnt come from both sides, its hard to want to do something with the other person, if the other person doesnt do anything to see your side of it. Thats probably what her daughter is reacting to, and she probably sees her father as a bully. ), and Vietnam, but he doesnt care much about the hippie culture, so even though I love that, we skip that. Express your love and offer your help as opportunities arise. I had his favorite dinner prepared and all possible distractions blocked. I notice my 14-year-old daughter and her 17-year-old brother, enemies of old, enjoying a detente in the TV room over Xbox and popcorn. But everyone needs to learn to laugh at themselves if they accidentally trip and spagetti plops on their head, when they are home surrounded by loved ones (and the oppurtunity to change clothing). Id say the exact same thing if your roles were reversed here, and somehow she ONLY wanted to watch the History Channel and go hiking. If your teenager is starting to pull away, it is important to resist the urge to panic or try to force them to spend more time with you. Its not cool that Dad is rolling his eyes at his daughters interests and hobbies. July 3, 2013, 3:53 am, Music or even musical pop icons was, curiously, NEVER mentioned specifically by the LW. lets_be_honest Your Family Doesn't Want To See You Together. I think my athletic and musical skills would have benefited a lot if I could have had practice early. Its not his thing, and as an adult I respect that (now the two of us nerd out talking about law related stuff since I just got my J.D. Addie Pray Where is the suggestion to ask the daughter what she may want to do? My husband has driven our children away with his dictatorial behaviour 04 May, 2019 01:00 You need to be gentle but honest with your friend about her crush MY HUSBAND is not an emotional. PostedOctober 22, 2014 When I got to college and met all these kids whod been exposed to more high-brow stuff than I had, I definitely felt like I had to play catch-up to at least even have an opinion on this stuff. I think dad is being a bully. I know from personal experience.